A student forum for discussing the social forces and resulting consequences on family and kinship change in Kuwait. Our discussion should consider the effects of new technologies, geopolitical relations and the market pressures of the global Era on the experience of intimacy and intimate relations.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
IDEAL FAMILIES
Describe what makes the ideal family in Kuwait? What are the most important relationships, what are the responsibilities of the different family members? What kind of activities build good bonds with these relationships, and what breaks them down?
First of all, I would like to say that I am a unique person and have a set of beliefs that might not go hand in hand with the rest of the class/world...So, what makes an ideal family in Kuwait really depends on the way the family runs. The ideal family would consist of a father and a mother, and many children. Family ties are very much emphasized in this culture. Another important aspect to take into consideration is that the family members should be welll dressed at all times. Education is not that important, children and parents strive for good bonds ( wasta). Being phony is sometimes a must because, true emotions are somewhat concealed. This is how I view the ideal kuwaiti family to be. However, one must keep in mind that not all families operate the same way.
The most important relationships are direct family relationships. This extends to grandparents as well as the parents. Respect is one big aspect in the Arab world. One must respect his elder in order to help facilitate smooth transaction. I'm not sure what sort of responsibilities one would have towards his family here in kuwait, however, I know that there are certain rules that one must adhere to. Should those rules not be met, consequences are harsh at times. Some families require their children to take care of certain issues, be it working their business upon graduating and what have you...The most important activity that holds the family together is friday gatherings, and travelling together and that sort of stuff. Neglecting a friday gathering could result in shame. Bringing shame to oneself or the family results in a lot of problems. That is why people should avoid shameful acts.
At the end of the day it really depends on how the family runs its lifestyle. There are many different types of families in kuwait. It's simple to give an overview of all families, but if you want to learn in depth about the family, you should dissect the core of the family, meaning origin of the family to where they live to how they live...And that sort of stuff... Faye Al-Obaid 6608
The ideal family in Kuwait is based on several differnet aspects, most of them are strongly related to the kuwaiti culture. Each family member has a unque role and is required to do certain things. The father is the person who is required to provide the family with financial aid and all what his family needs. He is the one who pays for the maids, house, food, eduacation, clothing, etc. Also, even if the family (the mother father and children) discuss various issues with eachother, the final say has to be for the father. As, for the mother, she is the one who is required to care for her children and her husband, making sure the meals are ready and the house is clean. Because of the maids around, this wont be a problem.
The children should and must respect their parents as well as their grandparents, aunts, and uncles. They are not to come up with any decision without the consent of their parents and grandparents no matter how old they are. Gatherings are considered sacred to most Kuwaiti families and if the children do not come to the weekly gatherings or any family member for that matter, they would be seen as disrespectful to their family members and relatives. In the gatherings the children must show great respect to the elderly. they must first go kiss their grandparents or old aunts and uncles on the head to show respect.
An ideal son would be the one who listens to what his father says and never argues with his parents. The son has to go with his father to the "Diwaniya" and follow his father's foot steps. The ideal daughter should also never argue to what her parents have to say. she has to go to women's gatherings with her mom. Ofcourse she has to be well dressed, with perfect makeup and perfect clothes. An "Original" Kuwaiti girl may NOT by any chance marry a "nonOriginal" Kuwaiti, If she does, she might be excluded from the family, or by her extended relatives.
Almost all families in Kuwait would want to be the ideal family, where there is a strong sense of culture, ethics and value system. An ideal family would be the one where the father is the head of the family and the person who provides shelter and support to his family, and mother playing the role of taking care and bringing the family together. The children are strongly raised with the beliefs and culture of their parents and their grandparents, with strong values and tradition. This is just a rough portrait of what an ideal family looks like.
The most important relationships in the family is the relationship that each member shares with each other. We cannot say that the important relationship is between the parents, as if the parents do not respect each other than how will the kids learn from them. But every relationship in the family has equal importance. Be it the mother/father relationship, father/son, mother/daughter, father/daughter, mother/son, brother/sister etc.. All these relationships play an important role on the entire family structure. One loose chain and the entire structure break down.
The responsibility of each family member is to take care of each other, respect each other, be there at the times of difficulties, and live in unity. Starting from the son coming from the Kuwaiti point of view they are always the backbone of their father, supporting the father, taking over the family business, listening to his father’s suggestion and basically following his father. The girl on the other hand, is a bit restricted from doing certain things, like not talking in a loud voice as she’s a girl, being with her mother when there are guests over, wearing “hijab” at a certain age in some families, properly dressed and getting married when the parents tell her to and mostly arranged. The wife is more the person who brings the family together; she is the chain between the kids and the husband. She has to follow the orders of her husband and raise the kids with proper traditions and cultural values. The Father is the bread winner. He gets the food on the table, and makes most of the decision for his family. He is the authority figure here.
Activities that would bring good bonds in these relationships coming from the Kuwaiti societies point of view would be, living together as one joint family, as majority of the families here live with large families, there are few nuclear families. In one house we will see that the father lives with his parents and brothers. Communication is one element that brings families together, apart from that in the Kuwaiti family, children are expected to have lunch and dinner with their parents on one table so they can spend quality time together or have tea together. Girls are expected to be more with their mothers so they can be more close to each other. Friday is usually the family day for almost all Kuwaiti families, as they get together at their grandparents house and spend the entire day together for making the bond stronger. Things that weaken the bond would be if the family share some grudges against each other. Like family business could bring in misunderstandings between brothers, Will- could cause an argument between brothers or children. Son not following his father’s steps could be a drawback. Daughter marrying someone she loves could cause a family destruction. Sarah Juma- 2714
In my opinion ,in spite of our progress in all aspects of life and progress in relations with the world around us, but unfortunately, this progress the negative impact on family relations that have existed between parents and children In the past, the father sees his son twice a day or more than that, but now the father cannot see his kids one time per week and started the family relations diverge until he became the neighbors do not know each contrast to the past in the days of Paragon were women sitting in the morning and evening to meet men in the Cabinet and the neighbors share with food-related raw materials from each other and were cooperating to live either modern society has affected them in luxury negatively. Aljazy Alzamel 11899
The perception of the ideal Kuwait family has gone through changes over the years; some aspects were altered following the economical boom in Kuwait after oil discovery, while others aspects changed as a result of exposure to other cultures. However those changes were not dramatic and the concept remains roughly the same. The father is still regarded as the head of the family (no matter what his contribution to the family might be) and is suppose to provide the family financially and is expected to “get things done” especially in matters concerning issuing the driving license/passport for the kids and any other work that requires running from one Governmental ministry to the other. While fathers are expected to have a job, mothers on the other hand are not exposed to such pressure. On the contrary, wives and mother working long hours (especially in the evening) are mostly to face content and disproval from the society as she is seen as neglecting her “duties” which are taking care of her children and husband and handling affairs around the house (cooking, cleaning, ect.). Ideally the mother is closer to the children that the father. She is most likely to be closer to her daughter that the son. After a certain age the son is suppose to spend less time with mother and “enter the man word” so he becomes closer o the father. The father is seen as the authority figure in the typical Kuwaiti family, however in affairs concerning the children, he often consult the mother. The son, especially if he was the first born, is most likely to be the “successor” of the father, as he is the nest in line to be in charge of family. He given more freedom than the sisters ,and sometimes authority over them as part of “recruiting him” to become a head of a family one day. The daughters are expected to spend more time at home that the brother and is more pressured to get marry that her male siblings. She must follow certain guide line of speaking and behaving especially in front of guests. The men are allowed to “marry down” that is to marry a women from a lower class or even a different country or religion. However the women don’t enjoy that freedom and marry among from her social class. This partly because of the fact Kuwait is a Patrilineal society and the women must chose a man of “good linage” to that her children will carry his name. Those ideal are now challenged by educated men and women who tried to repel against it and demand a more tolerant and just society.
An ideal family in Kuwait is the same as an ideal family in a lot of other countries. An ideal family to me would be a mother and a father both supportive and play active roles in their children's lives. Both physical and mentally able to provide for the family what they need. An ideal family is where the kids respect their parents and appreciate them. An ideal family is compose of a mother, a father and kids, living together, understand each other, helping one another, love and respect each other and most of all, god-fearing. And of course, no drugs and alcohol involved.
Although the father is the head of the family, the mother is usually the manager of the house. The father takes care of the financial issues; however, the mother takes care of the children and the house. But what expected from the children is the respect for the parents and the share with the family all its activities. they must help the father and the mother.
There are a lot of important activities that the Kuwaiti families are doing and the most important one is visiting the grandma and the grandpa house each week in a specific day. All the family should do that where they can meet the big family including the uncles, the aunts and the cousins. And what breaks them down is defying the family and not do what they want.
I cannot comment on the Kuwaiti family as I was born and raised in the United States. But from a Turkish perspective (my parents are Turkish and we lived a more or less Turkish kind of life at home) there are some similarities.
First of all the father ideally earns a good salary, the wife is highly attentive to her children's needs and the children are respectful toward their parents.But differences lay very much in the attitude toward the mother's productivity. Though many Turkish women see their family's happiness and welfare as perhaps their biggest priority, the ideal Turkish woman is not merely a housewife, especially in city families. Here is the trick, these city woman are supposed to be working women who ALSO take excellent care of their children. Like Kuwait there will be a lot of help to make that possible, like servants (not as many as in Kuwait), a grandparent or relative who might live with the nuclear family or live very closeby, and easily purchased ready-made food. Turkish grocery shops generally can deliver to your home and the apartment building's superintendant is always ready to fetch a loaf of bread or yogurt from the corner grocer.
Just as the mother's role is slightly different in Turkey, the son's and daughter's roles are not quite as distinctly defined as in Kuwait. The son like in Kuwait is expected to acquire more of a man's demeanor and behaviors as he grows up but if he remains close to his mother and his sibilings it is not a disaster. He definitely has more freedom than the girls and feels less pressure to "be good" as the girls. Everyone hopes the sons will be successful and an unsuccessful son is indeed a source of embarrassment. An unsuccessful daughter, one who does not pursue a university education or a career is not a disaster at all, especially if she is beautiful and dutiful. Then "at least" she will marry well they might say.
All in all, relationships are quite important in the ideal Turkish family but comfort, order, and social success or public reknown are also quite important. Being from a certain family "line" is not so important. In fact, it surprised me that there are "original" versus nonoriginal Kuwaiti families. In Turkey, almost anyone can succeed if they work hard. But how you act, dress, interact, and know are extremely important and both men and women can make an impact here.
Our religion Islam focuses on the relationship between the family and as we all know that Kuwait follows Islam so they had fallowed this idea for several years. But nowadays, we can’t see this strong bond between the Kuwaiti families. In the past, it was unusual to see a family that has issues between their members, on the other hand, nowadays it's weird if we hear about a family with good and strong bonds its members. I think that Kuwaiti families don’t represent the ideal good family because almost all families don’t have good relationships between the family members. Some brothers and sisters have problems and as a result, their children will be affected and they will not know about their cousins and if they do they will see them in the occasions like weddings or funerals. Moreover, parents would not insist on these relations but we can see them insisting on other relation with other people who might provide good opportunities for them in the future (for example, marriage or business) and these relations are called "wasta". Although I disagree with Fay when she said that we don’t need education, because if we don’t need education, then why are we still in universities? And why do some families send their children to study abroad although thy have wasta? Even though we don’t have the great bonds between our family members, but we do have some responsibilities that we can't run away from. Fathers must provide money, home and decent life. I think responsibilities have changed because if we look at mothers in the past, they must stay at home doing their jobs which include cleaning the house and cooking but now mothers can work outside the house. It’s a huge mistake that mothers nowadays do is that they forget their first job which is providing their children and husbands love and healthy environment, and when we come to children, they must respect and obey their parents, they must study so they can take care of their parents when they get older. In my opinion, there are many reasons that could break the family relationship; one of them is treatment that married couples receive. Some families treat their children in an unequal manner and if they do, and by that I mean giving one sibling in the family more attention than the other one when they get marries, they should treat the wife of the son or the husband of the daughter in the same way as they do with the children without any biases. To have a strong bond, we should work hard for it: parents should raise their kids with the idea of “family gathering is important''. Fathers must give the priority for the family diwaneia instead of the other diwaneias searching for the wasta. Mothers should do the same; they must take their daughters to the family gathering instead of the high class gathering. Al-Anoud 10453
Actually there is no clear cut definition of what makes an ideal family in Kuwait. However there are some general common denominators of the ideal family. In this part of the world religion and traditions are very important factors that have a great say over what makes an ideal family because these two factors decide a lot over the type of relationships that prevail in the family. Also the types of the families are changing that’s why what is ideal for one family cannot be the same for another. But let’s say that respect between the various members of the family is important. Furthermore attributing respect to the older members of the family is crucial. Also an ideal family could be that one in which there are no problems between the members and there is continuity between generations. At secondary level we may speak about other factors as the economic status and the educational level of the family members as factors that contribute to making a family ideal or not. But it is always important to bear in mind that these factors are not the same for all the families.
What makes relationships important is rather the level of respect it ensures. In Kuwait mainly in bedou areas the loyalty to the tribe name is very important. The relationships expand to cover the various members of the tribe in most of the cases and not only the small nuclear family. Uncles and carriers of the same name are also considered to be important relations. Within the nuclear family the female female-female relations is important and also the male-male one. Girls are closer to their mums and boys to the dads. In this respect the level of intimacy is divided.
In Kuwait the father is responsible for his family. In some extended families the grand father is considered the father of all; his sons, daughters and grandsons. You can find big families living under the same roof and everyone is responsible for the other in a way or another. The father is the breadwinner and the mother is as well, she contributes if she works in breading the family. Parents share school responsibilities but mums are closer to their daughters to satisfy their needs and dads for boys’ needs. The mothers and sisters can be the ones responsible for choosing a future wife for their son mainly in case of traditional marriages.
Families share lots of activities that strengthen their relationships. Religious occasions are important for family gatherings. In Aids and in Ramadan Iftars, families need to gather and this strengthens their ties. In most of the families meeting on Fridays for lunch is considered crucial for having strong ties. In general exchanging visits and having in-law relationships are important in building strong family ties. On the other hand, neglecting visits during religious occasions and missing Friday gatherings have very bad impact on the types of relations within families. Furthermore for the individual it is very important to respect the old parents and uncles, actions of disrespect could break the family ties. Also it is important for sons and daughters to have good conduct in their lives because having a bad reputation could also affect the family relations in a very bad way.
The ideal family in Kuwait are the nuclear family which consists of the husband, wife and their children. The husband supports his family financially and the wife is responsible of the household and raising their children. The children are suppose to be respectful, obedient and attend gathering. It is important to maintain a close relationship with family members other than the nuclear family like the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Family is an important factor in the Kuwait society, its all about close ties in Kuwait such as family gatherings, social events such as Eid and Ramadan that brings all the family together. If any family member are absent in a gathering everyone would notice their absence and take it as disrespect and can often cause conflict.
Different families have different ways to structure their family. In Kuwait the ideal family gives every member of the family the right to have a specific role, each family member has different responsibility towards their family but also share the same values and ideas of respecting their family, the elder and the younger member.Respecting their parents point of views and the parents respect choices and decisions their children make. families in Kuwait off course don't always live in the same house, their daughter or son may get married and leave the house, or maybe continues their education in another country. When that seperation between family members happens, family members still tries to meet each other in gathering, meetings or going out, anywhere it doesn't matter but members should always meet so family bonds doesn't get weak between them. The most important relationship is between the parents and their children even if their children grow up and have their own house or family they still have to visit their parents at least every week and parents also ask about their sons/daughters and call them. As I mentioned family gatherings and meeting or even by talking on the phone keeps the family bond strong, the more they communicate, the stronger the bond. When they never call or visit or even ask about other family members that will result in seperation which weakens the bonds between members of family.
Since families are forever and go way back in history, I believe that families in Kuwait are strongly bond together. In addition family is defined in Kuwait as relatives from both sodes of parents, cousins, second cousins, and grandparents. In comparing with the Western family which consists only of the parents and their siblings. The person is judged the way fmily is raised and how they interact with each other. In my point of view of the Kuwaiti family depend on each other no matter what, they are there in good and in bad. During our lives we have been given love by our family, advice, values, we also have been given encouragment, morals, and learning from our mistakes. and the most important thing that we've learned is appreciating and does what our relative did before us with respect and honor. All the things we've learned make us who we are as family. I personally like being with my family. I like to see how we all are growing and growing up. I like to see the changes and additions. Now a days, the role of the mother and father has changed in the family, since most of the women are educated and independent. By this process it helped the fmaily developed and it broke barriers between the role of the man and women within the family. In addition, the role of both parents in the family has developed and became similar to each other. Also the communication in the family has developed since female character in the family began to have a voice; which shows a healthy relationship between all members of the family since there is open communication. The family would be considered as a pathological family i fthe fail to communicate as one and with each other.One major factor that results in a pathological family is the increasing number of maids, where the kids are depended on them since the parents have busy seperate lives, resulting in neglecting their own kids. Also, by spending a lot of time with the maids leads to breaking theor own traditions, cultural values, and mother language.
In my opinion, an ideal family does not exist. Each family sees itself as being "ideal" so the term ideal family, I would say, is relative. Generally speaking though, this would mean a family with two parents; a father and mother, their children, and aunts, uncles, and grandparents who work as their support system.
The most important relationships are those between the parents and the relationships between the parents and children. The mother and father should be cooperative and understanding of each other. They should also be supportive of each other's decisions. The children should respect their parents and understand that they are their providers and therefore should be appreciated.
To form good bonds, families should have good communication. They should be honest and open with each other and share details of their lives with one another. This encourages them to help each other in times of need and support each other when they are successful.
What breaks these bonds is deviousness and shady behavior. When a parent trusts a child for example and the child goes behind the parent's back, the parent will no longer be trustworthy of the child. This ruins the once existing strong bond.
First of all, I would like to say that I am a unique person and have a set of beliefs that might not go hand in hand with the rest of the class/world...So, what makes an ideal family in Kuwait really depends on the way the family runs. The ideal family would consist of a father and a mother, and many children. Family ties are very much emphasized in this culture. Another important aspect to take into consideration is that the family members should be welll dressed at all times. Education is not that important, children and parents strive for good bonds ( wasta). Being phony is sometimes a must because, true emotions are somewhat concealed.
ReplyDeleteThis is how I view the ideal kuwaiti family to be. However, one must keep in mind that not all families operate the same way.
The most important relationships are direct family relationships. This extends to grandparents as well as the parents. Respect is one big aspect in the Arab world. One must respect his elder in order to help facilitate smooth transaction. I'm not sure what sort of responsibilities one would have towards his family here in kuwait, however, I know that there are certain rules that one must adhere to. Should those rules not be met, consequences are harsh at times. Some families require their children to take care of certain issues, be it working their business upon graduating and what have you...The most important activity that holds the family together is friday gatherings, and travelling together and that sort of stuff. Neglecting a friday gathering could result in shame. Bringing shame to oneself or the family results in a lot of problems. That is why people should avoid shameful acts.
At the end of the day it really depends on how the family runs its lifestyle. There are many different types of families in kuwait. It's simple to give an overview of all families, but if you want to learn in depth about the family, you should dissect the core of the family, meaning origin of the family to where they live to how they live...And that sort of stuff...
Faye Al-Obaid 6608
The ideal family in Kuwait is based on several differnet aspects, most of them are strongly related to the kuwaiti culture. Each family member has a unque role and is required to do certain things. The father is the person who is required to provide the family with financial aid and all what his family needs. He is the one who pays for the maids, house, food, eduacation, clothing, etc. Also, even if the family (the mother father and children) discuss various issues with eachother, the final say has to be for the father. As, for the mother, she is the one who is required to care for her children and her husband, making sure the meals are ready and the house is clean. Because of the maids around, this wont be a problem.
ReplyDeleteThe children should and must respect their parents as well as their grandparents, aunts, and uncles. They are not to come up with any decision without the consent of their parents and grandparents no matter how old they are. Gatherings are considered sacred to most Kuwaiti families and if the children do not come to the weekly gatherings or any family member for that matter, they would be seen as disrespectful to their family members and relatives. In the gatherings the children must show great respect to the elderly. they must first go kiss their grandparents or old aunts and uncles on the head to show respect.
An ideal son would be the one who listens to what his father says and never argues with his parents. The son has to go with his father to the "Diwaniya" and follow his father's foot steps. The ideal daughter should also never argue to what her parents have to say. she has to go to women's gatherings with her mom. Ofcourse she has to be well dressed, with perfect makeup and perfect clothes. An "Original" Kuwaiti girl may NOT by any chance marry a "nonOriginal" Kuwaiti, If she does, she might be excluded from the family, or by her extended relatives.
Maryam Al-Nasrallah 7182
Almost all families in Kuwait would want to be the ideal family, where there is a strong sense of culture, ethics and value system. An ideal family would be the one where the father is the head of the family and the person who provides shelter and support to his family, and mother playing the role of taking care and bringing the family together. The children are strongly raised with the beliefs and culture of their parents and their grandparents, with strong values and tradition. This is just a rough portrait of what an ideal family looks like.
ReplyDeleteThe most important relationships in the family is the relationship that each member shares with each other. We cannot say that the important relationship is between the parents, as if the parents do not respect each other than how will the kids learn from them. But every relationship in the family has equal importance. Be it the mother/father relationship, father/son, mother/daughter, father/daughter, mother/son, brother/sister etc.. All these relationships play an important role on the entire family structure. One loose chain and the entire structure break down.
The responsibility of each family member is to take care of each other, respect each other, be there at the times of difficulties, and live in unity. Starting from the son coming from the Kuwaiti point of view they are always the backbone of their father, supporting the father, taking over the family business, listening to his father’s suggestion and basically following his father. The girl on the other hand, is a bit restricted from doing certain things, like not talking in a loud voice as she’s a girl, being with her mother when there are guests over, wearing “hijab” at a certain age in some families, properly dressed and getting married when the parents tell her to and mostly arranged. The wife is more the person who brings the family together; she is the chain between the kids and the husband. She has to follow the orders of her husband and raise the kids with proper traditions and cultural values. The Father is the bread winner. He gets the food on the table, and makes most of the decision for his family. He is the authority figure here.
Activities that would bring good bonds in these relationships coming from the Kuwaiti societies point of view would be, living together as one joint family, as majority of the families here live with large families, there are few nuclear families. In one house we will see that the father lives with his parents and brothers. Communication is one element that brings families together, apart from that in the Kuwaiti family, children are expected to have lunch and dinner with their parents on one table so they can spend quality time together or have tea together. Girls are expected to be more with their mothers so they can be more close to each other. Friday is usually the family day for almost all Kuwaiti families, as they get together at their grandparents house and spend the entire day together for making the bond stronger.
Things that weaken the bond would be if the family share some grudges against each other. Like family business could bring in misunderstandings between brothers, Will- could cause an argument between brothers or children. Son not following his father’s steps could be a drawback. Daughter marrying someone she loves could cause a family destruction.
Sarah Juma- 2714
In my opinion ,in spite of our progress in all aspects of life and progress in relations with the world around us, but unfortunately, this progress the negative impact on family relations that have existed between parents and children In the past, the father sees his son twice a day or more than that, but now the father cannot see his kids one time per week and started the family relations diverge until he became the neighbors do not know each contrast to the past in the days of Paragon were women sitting in the morning and evening to meet men in the Cabinet and the neighbors share with food-related raw materials from each other and were cooperating to live either modern society has affected them in luxury negatively.
ReplyDeleteAljazy Alzamel 11899
The perception of the ideal Kuwait family has gone through changes over the years; some aspects were altered following the economical boom in Kuwait after oil discovery, while others aspects changed as a result of exposure to other cultures. However those changes were not dramatic and the concept remains roughly the same. The father is still regarded as the head of the family (no matter what his contribution to the family might be) and is suppose to provide the family financially and is expected to “get things done” especially in matters concerning issuing the driving license/passport for the kids and any other work that requires running from one Governmental ministry to the other. While fathers are expected to have a job, mothers on the other hand are not exposed to such pressure. On the contrary, wives and mother working long hours (especially in the evening) are mostly to face content and disproval from the society as she is seen as neglecting her “duties” which are taking care of her children and husband and handling affairs around the house (cooking, cleaning, ect.). Ideally the mother is closer to the children that the father. She is most likely to be closer to her daughter that the son. After a certain age the son is suppose to spend less time with mother and “enter the man word” so he becomes closer o the father. The father is seen as the authority figure in the typical Kuwaiti family, however in affairs concerning the children, he often consult the mother. The son, especially if he was the first born, is most likely to be the “successor” of the father, as he is the nest in line to be in charge of family. He given more freedom than the sisters ,and sometimes authority over them as part of “recruiting him” to become a head of a family one day. The daughters are expected to spend more time at home that the brother and is more pressured to get marry that her male siblings. She must follow certain guide line of speaking and behaving especially in front of guests. The men are allowed to “marry down” that is to marry a women from a lower class or even a different country or religion. However the women don’t enjoy that freedom and marry among from her social class. This partly because of the fact Kuwait is a Patrilineal society and the women must chose a man of “good linage” to that her children will carry his name. Those ideal are now challenged by educated men and women who tried to repel against it and demand a more tolerant and just society.
ReplyDeleteAn ideal family in Kuwait is the same as an ideal family in a lot of other countries. An ideal family to me would be a mother and a father both supportive and play active roles in their children's lives. Both physical and mentally able to provide for the family what they need. An ideal family is where the kids respect their parents and appreciate them. An ideal family is compose of a mother, a father and kids, living together, understand each other, helping one another, love and respect each other and most of all, god-fearing. And of course, no drugs and alcohol involved.
ReplyDeleteAlthough the father is the head of the family, the mother is usually the manager of the house. The father takes care of the financial issues; however, the mother takes care of the children and the house. But what expected from the children is the respect for the parents and the share with the family all its activities. they must help the father and the mother.
There are a lot of important activities that the Kuwaiti families are doing and the most important one is visiting the grandma and the grandpa house each week in a specific day. All the family should do that where they can meet the big family including the uncles, the aunts and the cousins. And what breaks them down is defying the family and not do what they want.
Kholod Al-Shamry 12863
I cannot comment on the Kuwaiti family as I was born and raised in the United States. But from a Turkish perspective (my parents are Turkish and we lived a more or less Turkish kind of life at home) there are some similarities.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all the father ideally earns a good salary, the wife is highly attentive to her children's needs and the children are respectful toward their parents.But differences lay very much in the attitude toward the mother's productivity. Though many Turkish women see their family's happiness and welfare as perhaps their biggest priority, the ideal Turkish woman is not merely a housewife, especially in city families. Here is the trick, these city woman are supposed to be working women who ALSO take excellent care of their children. Like Kuwait there will be a lot of help to make that possible, like servants (not as many as in Kuwait), a grandparent or relative who might live with the nuclear family or live very closeby, and easily purchased ready-made food. Turkish grocery shops generally can deliver to your home and the apartment building's superintendant is always ready to fetch a loaf of bread or yogurt from the corner grocer.
Just as the mother's role is slightly different in Turkey, the son's and daughter's roles are not quite as distinctly defined as in Kuwait. The son like in Kuwait is expected to acquire more of a man's demeanor and behaviors as he grows up but if he remains close to his mother and his sibilings it is not a disaster. He definitely has more freedom than the girls and feels less pressure to "be good" as the girls. Everyone hopes the sons will be successful and an unsuccessful son is indeed a source of embarrassment. An unsuccessful daughter, one who does not pursue a university education or a career is not a disaster at all, especially if she is beautiful and dutiful. Then "at least" she will marry well they might say.
All in all, relationships are quite important in the ideal Turkish family but comfort, order, and social success or public reknown are also quite important. Being from a certain family "line" is not so important. In fact, it surprised me that there are "original" versus nonoriginal Kuwaiti families. In Turkey, almost anyone can succeed if they work hard. But how you act, dress, interact, and know are extremely important and both men and women can make an impact here.
Our religion Islam focuses on the relationship between the family and as we all know that Kuwait follows Islam so they had fallowed this idea for several years. But nowadays, we can’t see this strong bond between the Kuwaiti families. In the past, it was unusual to see a family that has issues between their members, on the other hand, nowadays it's weird if we hear about a family with good and strong bonds its members.
ReplyDeleteI think that Kuwaiti families don’t represent the ideal good family because almost all families don’t have good relationships between the family members. Some brothers and sisters have problems and as a result, their children will be affected and they will not know about their cousins and if they do they will see them in the occasions like weddings or funerals. Moreover, parents would not insist on these relations but we can see them insisting on other relation with other people who might provide good opportunities for them in the future (for example, marriage or business) and these relations are called "wasta". Although I disagree with Fay when she said that we don’t need education, because if we don’t need education, then why are we still in universities? And why do some families send their children to study abroad although thy have wasta?
Even though we don’t have the great bonds between our family members, but we do have some responsibilities that we can't run away from. Fathers must provide money, home and decent life. I think responsibilities have changed because if we look at mothers in the past, they must stay at home doing their jobs which include cleaning the house and cooking but now mothers can work outside the house. It’s a huge mistake that mothers nowadays do is that they forget their first job which is providing their children and husbands love and healthy environment, and when we come to children, they must respect and obey their parents, they must study so they can take care of their parents when they get older.
In my opinion, there are many reasons that could break the family relationship; one of them is treatment that married couples receive. Some families treat their children in an unequal manner and if they do, and by that I mean giving one sibling in the family more attention than the other one when they get marries, they should treat the wife of the son or the husband of the daughter in the same way as they do with the children without any biases. To have a strong bond, we should work hard for it: parents should raise their kids with the idea of “family gathering is important''. Fathers must give the priority for the family diwaneia instead of the other diwaneias searching for the wasta. Mothers should do the same; they must take their daughters to the family gathering instead of the high class gathering.
Al-Anoud 10453
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ReplyDeleteActually there is no clear cut definition of what makes an ideal family in Kuwait. However there are some general common denominators of the ideal family. In this part of the world religion and traditions are very important factors that have a great say over what makes an ideal family because these two factors decide a lot over the type of relationships that prevail in the family. Also the types of the families are changing that’s why what is ideal for one family cannot be the same for another. But let’s say that respect between the various members of the family is important. Furthermore attributing respect to the older members of the family is crucial. Also an ideal family could be that one in which there are no problems between the members and there is continuity between generations. At secondary level we may speak about other factors as the economic status and the educational level of the family members as factors that contribute to making a family ideal or not. But it is always important to bear in mind that these factors are not the same for all the families.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes relationships important is rather the level of respect it ensures. In Kuwait mainly in bedou areas the loyalty to the tribe name is very important. The relationships expand to cover the various members of the tribe in most of the cases and not only the small nuclear family. Uncles and carriers of the same name are also considered to be important relations. Within the nuclear family the female female-female relations is important and also the male-male one. Girls are closer to their mums and boys to the dads. In this respect the level of intimacy is divided.
In Kuwait the father is responsible for his family. In some extended families the grand father is considered the father of all; his sons, daughters and grandsons. You can find big families living under the same roof and everyone is responsible for the other in a way or another. The father is the breadwinner and the mother is as well, she contributes if she works in breading the family. Parents share school responsibilities but mums are closer to their daughters to satisfy their needs and dads for boys’ needs. The mothers and sisters can be the ones responsible for choosing a future wife for their son mainly in case of traditional marriages.
Families share lots of activities that strengthen their relationships. Religious occasions are important for family gatherings. In Aids and in Ramadan Iftars, families need to gather and this strengthens their ties. In most of the families meeting on Fridays for lunch is considered crucial for having strong ties. In general exchanging visits and having in-law relationships are important in building strong family ties. On the other hand, neglecting visits during religious occasions and missing Friday gatherings have very bad impact on the types of relations within families. Furthermore for the individual it is very important to respect the old parents and uncles, actions of disrespect could break the family ties. Also it is important for sons and daughters to have good conduct in their lives because having a bad reputation could also affect the family relations in a very bad way.
The ideal family in Kuwait are the nuclear family which consists of the husband, wife and their children. The husband supports his family financially and the wife is responsible of the household and raising their children. The children are suppose to be respectful, obedient and attend gathering. It is important to maintain a close relationship with family members other than the nuclear family like the grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Family is an important factor in the Kuwait society, its all about close ties in Kuwait such as family gatherings, social events such as Eid and Ramadan that brings all the family together. If any family member are absent in a gathering everyone would notice their absence and take it as disrespect and can often cause conflict.
ReplyDeleteDifferent families have different ways to structure their family. In Kuwait the ideal family gives every member of the family the right to have a specific role, each family member has different responsibility towards their family but also share the same values and ideas of respecting their family, the elder and the younger member.Respecting their parents point of views and the parents respect choices and decisions their children make. families in Kuwait off course don't always live in the same house, their daughter or son may get married and leave the house, or maybe continues their education in another country. When that seperation between family members happens, family members still tries to meet each other in gathering, meetings or going out, anywhere it doesn't matter but members should always meet so family bonds doesn't get weak between them. The most important relationship is between the parents and their children even if their children grow up and have their own house or family they still have to visit their parents at least every week and parents also ask about their sons/daughters and call them. As I mentioned family gatherings and meeting or even by talking on the phone keeps the family bond strong, the more they communicate, the stronger the bond. When they never call or visit or even ask about other family members that will result in seperation which weakens the bonds between members of family.
ReplyDeleteSince families are forever and go way back in history, I believe that families in Kuwait are strongly bond together. In addition family is defined in Kuwait as relatives from both sodes of parents, cousins, second cousins, and grandparents. In comparing with the Western family which consists only of the parents and their siblings. The person is judged the way fmily is raised and how they interact with each other. In my point of view of the Kuwaiti family depend on each other no matter what, they are there in good and in bad. During our lives we have been given love by our family, advice, values, we also have been given encouragment, morals, and learning from our mistakes. and the most important thing that we've learned is appreciating and does what our relative did before us with respect and honor.
ReplyDeleteAll the things we've learned make us who we are as family. I personally like being with my family. I like to see how we all are growing and growing up. I like to see the changes and additions.
Now a days, the role of the mother and father has changed in the family, since most of the women are educated and independent. By this process it helped the fmaily developed and it broke barriers between the role of the man and women within the family. In addition, the role of both parents in the family has developed and became similar to each other. Also the communication in the family has developed since female character in the family began to have a voice; which shows a healthy relationship between all members of the family since there is open communication. The family would be considered as a pathological family i fthe fail to communicate as one and with each other.One major factor that results in a pathological family is the increasing number of maids, where the kids are depended on them since the parents have busy seperate lives, resulting in neglecting their own kids. Also, by spending a lot of time with the maids leads to breaking theor own traditions, cultural values, and mother language.
In my opinion, an ideal family does not exist. Each family sees itself as being "ideal" so the term ideal family, I would say, is relative. Generally speaking though, this would mean a family with two parents; a father and mother, their children, and aunts, uncles, and grandparents who work as their support system.
ReplyDeleteThe most important relationships are those between the parents and the relationships between the parents and children. The mother and father should be cooperative and understanding of each other. They should also be supportive of each other's decisions. The children should respect their parents and understand that they are their providers and therefore should be appreciated.
To form good bonds, families should have good communication. They should be honest and open with each other and share details of their lives with one another. This encourages them to help each other in times of need and support each other when they are successful.
What breaks these bonds is deviousness and shady behavior. When a parent trusts a child for example and the child goes behind the parent's back, the parent will no longer be trustworthy of the child. This ruins the once existing strong bond.
Fajer Al-Sabah 3896