Thursday, May 13, 2010
FRIENDSHIP
Do Kuwiatis believe in friendship or is intimacy only about love, marriage and family bonds? Does one become friendly with another only for utility and/or finding a potential new family member, or is there a concept of friend? Describe the friendship experience in the Kuwaiti world. Is the concept of friend traditional, or is it the product of the global era, with its new technologies and population movements?
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Everyone's looking for friendship. Friendship is something very important in our lives and we cannot dispense with friends. For the Kuwaiti Friendship is something very essential. Of course, friendship is not Only by interest and to achieve the personal interests. But friendship is a link to a person with others and communicate with people and this does not prevent the realization of interests, but provided that as a secondary aim. In Kuwait, you would not find them believe so much in friendship between men and women, but rarely. And usually what they think that the relationship between men and women is the relationship of admiration and love and thus lead to marriage. There is also an Arab quote that says, "the friend in time of need. " And it means you do not know who your friend is real, but after you find him in times of adversity.
ReplyDeleteTechnology, as they say double-edged sword. There are some people away from their friends because of technology. But other people have increased their friendship with other people and from other countries. But in my view that Technology has changed the concept of friends. Is no longer the meaning of friendship as it was the past. In the past, friendship is something sacred and the meaning and standing with a friend to a friend in good times and bad. But now, "You are my friend if you let me enjoy and went out with me."
Freinship in Kuwait is consedered very important in my point of view because freinship in Kuwait have a big role since the past generations, Kuwaities knew each other because their houses were next to each other and men mostly form frienships in work. Now I think freinship is another term for family and sometimes more becuase friends can be closer than cousins, people sometimes share more secrets with friends than they do with family members, sometimes they travel or gather with friends more than they do with their family and when the friend knows your family then that means more family( for some people). That will be all true if you pick your friends carefully because someties people can be pretending to be friendly just to take advantage or because she/ he are ashamed to be alone so they have to be with anyone just so people can see her/him with someone else.
ReplyDeleteEgyptians do believe in friendship between the opposite genders. In Egypt, there are mixed and segregated public schools which prove that having both genders in one class is not a cultural issue. It just depends on how Islamist the person might be. Still, there might Muslims who follow Islam and would send their kids to mixed private schools for better education and vice versa. So, limited school or college or work friendship between both genders is not seen as culturally deviant in Egypt.
ReplyDeleteIntimate relationships without marriage use to be seen as deviant, especially between teenagers. Now, teenagers would be seen holding hands as couples in streets. Some parents would know about their children relationship with the opposite gender and some would heavily oppose it. For those who oppose it, the kid would still have the relationship behind his/her parent’s back. Also, in some other cases, there would be teenagers or adults see relationships as a waste of time and against Islam. This segment from the Egyptian community would rather have an arranged marriage. In case it was a male, he would still have an arranged marriage or straight propose to any girl that he would see appropriate for him to be his wife under Islamic law.
There are a lot of friendships between the opposite genders in Egypt just for the sake of friendship. Also, in some cases, some of these friendships would be transferred to love relationships further on. Still, the friendship will be said to be found upon pure friendship intentions. New technologies, such as internet and mobiles, etc, have encouraged the increase of love relationships between the opposite genders. Also, it has eased the way for children to hide these kinds of relationships behind their parents back.
Friendship is an important thing to have in life, its nice to have a group of friends with common interest and mentality. There are many friendships between the opposite sex in Kuwait, some people find more things in common and get along better with the opposite sex, however, of course feelings can develop into more than friendship but this is common everywhere in the world its just human nature.
ReplyDeleteWith technology advancing, it makes communication much easier, instant messaging, phone calls and the internet are great tools to bringing people closer, especially when one travels, also one has more privacy.
In Kuwait (as in all countries) there are different kinds of friendships. Most young Kuwaiti first friends are their cousins that may or may not continue as they grow up this type of friendship is often created and supported by the family, as conflicts that occurs between the friends/cousins are quickly absorbed by the family and the overall feeling of “being family”. Those cousins can come from either the father side or the mother and from my personal observation; the mother side is more common and is almost always cousins from the same sex.
ReplyDeleteThe second type of friendships is friends from school or work, so what of “friends by choice”. These friends may not always receive approval by the family (because of family name, sect, age, reputation, gender, or status) so they might remain “hidden” form the rest of the family.
Sometimes young Kuwait finds this type of friendship arrangement more comfortable as they can share more secrets and intimate detail that will not reach the family. On the flip side; some might perceive even lifelong as “outsider” and that secrets should never leave the family.
There is also friendship that provides social mobility; similar to marrying up, finding friend who enjoy a high status or wealth is soon gateway to better opportunities in marriage, jobs or even more “friends with benefits” these friends will use their “wasta” or connection to make their friends’ life easier.
Whether, intimacy is associated with friendship am not entirely sure as the type of friendship varies. Perhaps it is commonly associated with the first type of friendship, but that intimacy can be associated with “the blood bond” rather than the friendship itself.
The second type perhaps carries a certain level of intimacy, from my view it is more common among the younger people to share their emotions with their friends. It addition lifelong friends might be granted access to family in case of breast feeding or marriage.
All in all friendship by itself is seen as inferior connection to one another, and Kuwaiti often try to “upgrade” it my promoting the friend to a family member.
The concept of friendship is certainly Not a new one to Kuwaiti, however it has gone through changes with “globalization” creating “facebook friends” and foreign friends or even friends from the opposite gender
Dana AL-Otaibi
Friendship is very imporatant to kuwaitis. i am actually surprised that this question was asked. Friends make up a huge part of any kuwait's life. It is a well respected and loved realtionship. people tend to actually spend more time with friends than with family members in kuwait. Family members and realtives see each other once every week while friends are the ones we see on a daily basis. the concept of a friend is traditional. Men since the early days of kuwait gathered from all families to spend time together either in diwaniyas or coffee shops "ilgahwa" women also when their husbands were at the diwaniyas, or the coffee shop spending time with their friends, usually cooked small meals and gathered in one of the neighbors houses, socializing and enjoying there time. neighbors are not necessarly family. neighbors were always very good close friends who trusted each other so much, sometime a person would not give the key to his house to his relative but he would give it to his neighbor.
ReplyDeletefriendship is cherished by kuwaitis, however, one kind of friendship is not tolerated, the friendship between a man and woman, which is increasing these days due to westernization and globalization. old people always said, their is no friendship between a man and a women that wont turn in to an intimate love relationship, therefore it should be avoided.
S00007182
It is known that friendship is good for the body and good for the soul; medical researchers have found that those who have friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer than those who do not. In fact, friendship has numerous physical and spiritual benefits.
ReplyDeleteNowadays in Kuwait, friendships have changed dramatically. The main reason is due to the changes within society. Meaning introsucing western values, technologies, and the main reason is " Wasta" friendship.
When talking about western values and the new technologies and ways in communications, Kuwaiti family have lost boundries within the family. Parents nowadays cannot know whats going on with their childrens life and whom are they hanging with because with the new technology where they have their own mobiles, laptop, and accsses to whatever they want without inturrpting their privacy. With the new communication technology people have the ability to have new friendship with people they dont know about, and the lack information about their family. Which then results trouble in their friendship.
In the other hand, Kuwait friendship have become only for "Wasta", people are mostly chasing family names rather than true friendship. People just want to have "wasta" and live the easy life.
Friendship definitely exits in the Kuwaiti dictionary and it is definitely a traditional concept. I remember my dad telling me how he and his friends after university and work use to meet up for talking about business or simply to eat somewhere out. Back then it was purely friendship and no inner motives. With time this has changed, we do sometimes find people being friends with other people only for personal motives. It’s either the friends is helping them so they are friends or only because the friends is popular so the rest are all his/her friend. Female friends are set to be more like sisters where they simply go out and spend a lot of time together. But male friends are usually in groups, it is difficult to find one guy having just one friend who he spends his time with. Whereas on the other hand, we usually see two girls as best friends. This is truly friendship out of love and affection no inner motives. But then, in the Kuwaiti society a girl talking to a guy or a girl being close friends with a guy is usually questioned. People think that they are either dating or they like each other. Most of the time the case is right, girls who are tend to be close to one person usually ends up having feelings for their other partner. Same goes for the male. But the society at times views it incorrectly and inaccurately. They misjudge and guy and girl being just friends and blame them for illegal relationships. Thus, spoiling the girls image and reputation.
ReplyDeleteWith times ideas changed, couple of years back it was difficult to see a male and a female to be friends. My mother actually remembers all her male friends as she said they were so few. She had no male friends when she was in high school as she was not allowed to talk to them and never felt the need to talk to one. She started to have friends as male when she started working. The time changed and so did people. Now a day with the western mentality we are more advanced with the media, it is no more shame to have opposite sex as your friend. Although out parents did not change completely, they still have the mentality of keeping the distance and the limitations that one should remember and consider before falling in a relationship.
Sarah Juma
I believe that friendship in Kuwait is like in any other country. People form friendship bonds for various reasons. Whether it is for personal and selfish interests, or a reciprocal relationship, which is the only way for them to form a "pure" relationship.
ReplyDeleteFriendships between the opposite sex is also becoming more accepted here than before, and I believe that has more to do with the Westernization that is going on in Kuwait. Some people however can not deal with the opposite sex as platonic friends because they are not used to the idea, mainly because of segregation. I find that people who are more open minded can handle the idea of being friends with the opposite sex. Unfortunately the majority of people in Kuwait are not as cultured or open-minded and can not accept that girls and boys can be platonic friends.
Friendships can form some of the strongest bonds, because there is no other obligation or expectation from them, and i believe that is universal too.
Sooo11899- Aljazy
ReplyDeletefrom my point of view that the person upon marriage go away form his friendship, especially women.
For women was their relationship with her family and her husband's family stronger where there is no time to make friends in her life, because he is busy raising her children
And matters of married life
Yes The Kuwaiti culture does believe in friendship. There are something called true friends in the society but according to the Kuwaiti mentality and society a boy and a girls friendship is always taken in a wrong sense,. Usually if a girl is seen with a guy they are looked as as either dating or engaged ignoring the fact that they can just be friends. This is mainly because Kuwait is a closed society with every family knowing each other and therefore they don’t want to disclose anything against their child in public which would damage their future. This has increased to such a point that a young female and male if wanting to keep their friendship in a Kuwaiti society meet at places that are not public for instance some body’s house, or chalet or other places as such.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes in a Kuwaiti society some friends are made out of benefits either which include either wanting something out of them , or you are friends with them because they belong to a higher status family then yours so therefore for the perks and the status in the society you would want the people to know that you are associated with that particular friend.
The biggest modem of maintaining friendship in Kuwait society as what I have seen is through the black berry messenger. How the friends stay in touch with each other especially in universities or other institutions. They are either work colleges or peers are school. Also facebook is another very famous utility where Kuwaiti youth maintain friendship with each other without the consent of anyone or threat of being publicly disclosed by the society.
shirin tajani
2443
I cannot speak on behalf of all Kuwaitis, but I as a Kuwaiti can say that I do believe in friendship; and I'm pretty sure most Kuwaitis do too. Intimacy is not only about love, marriage, and family bonds. In some cases, friends can be closer to a person than family members. As a famous quote says, "friends are the family we choose for ourselves".
ReplyDeleteAlthough some form friendships for utility or for finding a potential spouse, most of the time friendships in my opinion are formed on the basis of trust and compatability. When i choose my friends, i ask myself if they are good people and if i will enjoy having them in my life. I do not think of what i will gain from them or whether i will gain a marriage spouse from this relationship. Some people use these two reasons though as a basis for forming friendships which i think is wrong.
The concept of a friend i think can be traced way back and is not a result of the global era.
As we all know that as a human being we can't live alone so we need to be with some one that we feel comfortable with he might be from the family or from the outsiders. I For the Kuwaiti society friendships is important sometimes more than the family relations, because when you have relations with others that means you will have a better access to the social life and from this aspect the Wasta had came. I think that friendship must be biased on respect and love, to have a common concerns and it shouldn't be biased on the needs and interests The older generations didn’t use to express their feelings as it was considered a weakness, but in the generations that followed intimacy between friends had became a natural thing.
ReplyDeleteAlthough we are in the 21 century and we are communicating with our friends abroad, the society still resists the friendship between the two genders.
S00010453
Do Kuwiatis believe in friendship or is intimacy only about love, marriage and family bonds? Does one become friendly with another only for utility and/or finding a potential new family member, or is there a concept of friend? Describe the friendship experience in the Kuwaiti world. Is the concept of friend traditional, or is it the product of the global era, with its new technologies and population movements?
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, i think that Kuwaiti's do believe in friends and making frienship. Especially in teenage, Kuwaiti teenagers are extreme in making good friendship and friends for life. But as people gro their potentials change and they start to look at marriage, of course it will not change any relationship o theris, instead the female will get to know new people and make new friendships wih her husband's family side. i believe that friends are becoming more in a doubtful relationships, one day they are perfect, the other they are foes.