Thursday, May 13, 2010
VIOLENCE AND THE FAMILY
The family is said to provide nurturance and care to its members, and ideally they are suppossed to form some of our most intimate of bonds. Yet the family is also the root of threat and the source of a lot of violence. Discuss domestic violence in the family in the Kuwaiti context. Who are the victims, what are the causes and are global pressures to blame?
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The presence of the family is an extension of human life, mystery of human survival, every man is by nature tend to accrue a house, wife and offspring .., and when the family was the first step in building the society of the Association as a high-level specific end, it has sponsored religions in general. The family is the first place and the basis to solve problems and overcome the difficulties faced by its members. The family is the starting point for the advancement of their personnel who are the nucleus of society intellectually, spiritually and behaviorally.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is the most prevalent types of human violence in our time. That the phenomenon of domestic violence was the result of modern life, psychological pressure and frustration generated by the nature of modern daily life, is one of the primary and fundamental sources of the problem of domestic violence. It is known that the wife is the first victim in domestic violence and that the husband, therefore, is the first aggressor. Followed in the order sons and daughters as victims of either the father or the Big Brother or Uncle. As we saw in the video, the violence in the Jordan girls and honor killings were not even the girl is at fault. This is because the customs and traditions that will come to know society and which require men - according to the requirements of this tradition - a measure of manhood in the leadership of his family through violence, force, and that they scale that shows the amount of manhood, otherwise he is fallen from among the men. There are also other reasons for violence in families, such as mental illness and social development of one or both spouses or disruption of the relationship between the couple for any reason.
Violence occur every where and in every violent action there is someone responsible or someone to blame and there is a victim or sometimes pretend to be a victim to avoid any threateining treatment. In Kuwait violence is not a big issue because most people don't complain or never mention any violent acts at home. In Kuwait radical behavior is predectible from boys because in these recent years boys have no control of their behavior and when family discussion conserns them they respond very badly which leads to violence mostly from the father to provide decepline. That a kind of violence in families, but issues conserning married couple it can lead to severe injuries mostly because lack of trust or maybe the woman does not obbay her husband(mostly in poor families with not alot of education).
ReplyDeleteIn Egypt, violence is said to be common in most of the low class and middle families. Parents hitting and smacking their kids would be seen in streets, malls, restaurants and in everywhere. So, the first little steps that might lead to violence are already considered as part of the Egyptian culture. Female committing adultery or a son caught having drugs, these kind of cultural major incidents might cause extreme violence in the Egyptian family. In addition, violence might be caused against both genders when ever they disobey any of the parents in places and families that still follow the very Patrilineal Egyptianized roots.
ReplyDeleteGlobalization have opened up the doors for woman rights, daughters being more educated and sons asking for more freedom out of their father’s control. This has all caused conflicts and extreme miscommunication between the parent and child. Several Egyptian soap operas have also been created discussing these kind of family problems. Still in the soap operas and also in real life, you would always find the parent who is coming from a low class or a middle class background would use violence as a solution to solve these conflicts or to make his children get back to the traditional life.
The prevalence of domestic violence in Kuwait seems to be alarming. If someone were to crunch down numbers, and make round estimate the figures would be high, considering the Kuwaiti population is rather small. I think the problem here is the mentality of men. They want to display their dominance on their women, and women in general. The women are probably the ones that face domestic violence the most, and then you have the vulnerable people. Domestic help also face violent families. Father’s beat their wives, when there is a source of anxiety that is unknown, moreover brothers might beat their sisters if they deem her behavior inappropriate. So it really starts at the home I think. If people had better communicating skills, and understood that violence will never resolve anything things might get better. The hegemonic forces that are set to keep women in a cage is the problem. Also with the prevalence of substance abuse problems, domestic violence tends to increase. Violent methods are also used to discipline children. That teaches children that if there is a problem the way to solve it is by correcting the person through violence.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn’t agree that global pressure is to be blamed for violence. The introduction of novel global concepts, or products, is usually taken in a less harmful manner. So I find it hard to believe that global pressure plays a role in domestic violence. Global pressures might benefit people in a way that would allow people to gain access to more knowledge regarding their rights and what have you. Moreover, I think parents of violence tendencies might look up to what other countries are doing when it comes to punishment. For instance, beating children has become less and less apparent. However, beating girls for inappropriate behavior is always on the rise. The root of violence seems to be at home. It has been happening for a long time. It is critical to understand why domestic violence happens, traditions might be the issue, and the need for men to feel superior to women in this country could be the adverse effect.
Domestic violence is found in many parts of the world where women are battered, sexually assaulted and homicides occurs by husbands or partners in relationships which rises the question: How can this occur by someone so close to you?
ReplyDeleteIn Kuwait, parents usually a father would discipline his children gaining obedience but to people outside this society would view it as child abuse while in fact its a form of maintaining order and demand for respect unless things get out of hand that is considered abuse. Women are usually the victim of domestic violence in Kuwait, most of the time is by alcoholic or high tempered husbands.
I dont believe global pressures are the cause of such violence that it diffuses to cultures, it is caused by anger, intoxication and other reasons.
Domestic violence is often not reported in Kuwait, and is disclosed only to close family members or friends. As in the case in rest of the world, it is almost directed from the man to the women. Certain sects and families from lower economic status are usually more prominent to practice and accept violence in general.
ReplyDeleteMen are somewhat recruited to be the head of the family from a young age, in that role, he has the right to asses which conduct in appropriate and which isn’t , he also has the right to “correct” those who sway from his rule, often the wife and children are the target.
This is seen from an early age as brothers are given “guardianship” right over his sisters and female relatives. A closer look at the Kuwaiti popular culture such as series and plays reveals a depressing and alarming reality. A seen where a man slaps his wife after a heated argument is met by applause from young men in the audience.
As men are recruited to be dominate, women are simultaneously trained to be subordinate and is denied her full social right until she is married and is a mother. Consistently raised to be believe in men’s God given authority, she accept the fact the he is the one who gives the orders in the house.
Mainly women don’t view a slap in the face a domestic violence are almost never report it, often Quranic verses are cited to legitimize the men’s right to “discipline his wife” giving the violence an aura of correction and improvement to rescue the marriage as oppose to brutality and aggression that breaks the marriage.
The lack of specialized institution that deals with such issues and the fact the even police station with its male offices rarely understands such grievances and even persuade the wife to remain with her husband
The reason behind staying with husband are often the lack of better alternative (if any) in addition to the primes that children will be “destroyed by it” as well as the idea that girls who comes from a divorced household are seen a less of “marriage material” and is even avoided as a potential wife.
In case there is no children, violence is more likely to lead to a divorce, however the loss of “virginity” of the women might hinder that as her family often will encourage her to stay. The marriage is seen as an investment, where the family has invested her virginity and honor in the husband family, and divorce indicate the project has failed, and men are less likely to married a women who is no longer a virgin and his “right” to as a husband is lost to another man.
Violence is also targeted at children from either fathers or mothers. Where mothers are likely to handle minor things such as school and friends, and father are in charge of major violation.
Violence, believe is not the result of global pressure. Money does play a part in further casing tension that will lead to violence, however violence is a pre-existing condition. In addition some parents see that there is a need to protect the children from the “harmful western concept” that is transmitted over the media and internet and violence one the ways to control the children.
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ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is an issue all over the world either between husband and wife, or a father and his children. In Kuwait iam sure that there are a number of domestic violence cases, but to a certain extent. It is quiet unusual i assume. However, in most of the cases it is the husband mistreating the wife, rarely would you see parents or a father abusing his children. I do know a number of cases where the husband has beaten up his wife becasue she went out without telling him or she spoke to him in an inappropriate way. this, however, is not always tolerated by the wife, because, as we know Kuwait is a family oriented sociaty, and their is always a person that the wife can go to, away from her abusive husband. There are also a few cases where a father, being very religious and traditional, would hit his "gay" son , claiming that this will make him a man.
ReplyDeletei believe from what i have witnessed, that domestic vilence is in high numbers among the "traditional" beduin tribes, but not with the non beduin kuwaitis, who almost all of them are some what westernized and are open minded. also they tend to worry more about the family image and about being modern, they would not put their family name in to shame buy such actions. Also, if a person is abused, it can easily be known to the public given that kuwait is such a small country and people are easily identified.
however, in some cases, domestic violence occurs due to psychological illnesses, where then the wife discovers that her husband is mentally ill. Such cases were discussed by Dr. Foziya Doraih in the AlRai TV last year.
S00007182
Domestic violence is present in the Kuwaiti family. In addition domestic violence is one of the major problem and issues found within the family around the world.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence found in Kuwaiti family would either be physically, emotionally, and verbally.
When we see children actions are aggressive and are emotionally not stable, we know that there a problem in the family. And when a kid has a violent parent, we can see how he/she is affected within their actions. Whether beating, verbally, bulling other people and taboos actions.
Family is definitely the one that provides care, support and roof to one individual. It’s time of difficulties that family helps us to put our self together and face the challenge by being on our side. Thus, these same families are the ones that become our threat. Starting with very simple example, parents all want their children to score high grades in schools and achieve top positions. But let’s face the fact not all students have the same ability to perform some perform well while others lack behind. One common problem here is the stress that parents put on a child that they become the child’s worst nightmare. The child starts to go through rough behavior that parents portray by beating them, locking them up or making them starve. This is not all made up but truly is been happening in Kuwait. Majority parents tend to beat their children when their kids perform badly at school. A true story about my mother’s friend whose daughter is mentally unstable now due to the beatings she took from her mother while she was in grade 10 in the government school here in Kuwait. Ayesha the girl that is mentally unstable and is in republic of Czech getting her treatment, use to be a very careless girl and never cared about work. Until this became a problem in the family and people started pointing fingers at her daughter by saying no body will marry her as she is dumb. Her mother started beating her thinking she will get scared and do her work but this entire thing reversed and the results were not pleasant. Today she is suffering from mental stability and does not function like normal humans. Thus, this was her mother who made her go through the stage in life that she is in right now.
ReplyDeleteFamily influence and family status play an important role in the family. The minute we hear something bad about a person in the family we try to hide it from people or start to correct things. Another act of violence in done on divorced girls or widow, where their families either hurt them by verbally attacking them or actually beating them saying that they are unlucky and not pure. Although, most of the time these women are not at fault. Women however, have rights to account for the violent act that has been done but most of the time this does not happen. Very rarely people report as they are scared of their family image and status. Men usually hit their wife for small arguments that occur between them. Almost every day in the newspaper there is a case of violence behaviors that takes place between the husband and wife. Brothers that are older to their sisters tend to hit their sisters if they find out that their sisters are having an affair with someone who is not eligible to the family or his family status is lower than them. Usually it is the men who are account for these act of violence and female are the ones that are the victim. But once again only sometimes the case is a total opposite.
Sarah Juma
Violence within families is unfortunately present in all societies. In Kuwait it is not uncommon for families to encounter some sort of abuse, whether it is between the parents or the parents disciplining their kids. I think it is acceptable for parents to give their kids a beating, depending on what they did. I don't however think it's acceptable for them to beat them senselessly, it has to be done with good intentions in mind, to remind the kids that there are consequences for their actions. Beating your kids should also be a last resort, when all else fails.
ReplyDeleteViolence between adult couples however is another story. A married couple should never resort to violence in any case; they are adults who can resolve situations like grown ups, with no exceptions.
I've also heard of violence between younger couples from a lot of people, and i was surprised to hear from girls that their ex-boyfriends or their friends boyfriend would beat them for whatever reason, and they would justify it by saying that he did it because he really loved me. I say that's bullshit(excuse my language) but if the guy really loved her then he would never ever think of hurting her in any way. It is an egotistical reaction, and the guy should be ashamed for hitting a girl.
Mishari Al-Awadhi - S00012868
Yes it is highly agreeable that family is the caretaker of an individual and they are the once who are primary supporters however some of them can prove to be the once imposing threats and violence to one another. For instance, how a quarrel between an Arab family couple can result in violent behavior of the male towards a female and a female will not have a say in this as she is said to be under the male in an Arab society. Also how a big brother or a father is a prominent figure in an Arab society and when found out that the daughter of the house has gone against the rules they find it legitimate to beat or act violently towards her.
ReplyDeleteAs you are familiar that this kind of a behavior from any individual is not accepted in the western countries in fact the teachers start teaching their students from the age of two how to sue their parents if they try to hit them or act in a violent way. I am not implying that this is a good custom because parents are the once that raise a child and should be allowed to have privilege over their children but since not having this rule implied here in Kuwait or other Arab countries have made ht male act aggressive towards the other family members and therefore should be more careful.
shirin tajani
2443
Home violence is one of the biggest issues that threat the family bonds; it could destroy the marriage on not just that it also destroys the self confidence of the victim. Many people are refusing to admit that we are facing this kind of problems in or society, and not telling dose not mean that violence dose not exists in our community, because many women are facing domestic violence but they are afraid to report it because they will be seen as they had betray the privacy of their marriage and some of the victims thinks that they deserve it because they did something wrong. I think that domestic violence can be verbally and not just physically, a man can hurts his wife by word more than he hurts her when he beats her. And the domestic violence is not only toward the wife only, but it could be toward the children and in the tow cases this action is going to affect the children whether they were the victims or they just seen it. The impacts will be on his psychological condition and he will have no self confidence, he might use violence against others and for a girl she will lose the faith in men and she might be thinking of revenge.
ReplyDeleteS00010453
Personally, when talking about this subject, I think I live in a bubble. I believe I have been sheltered from this issue and have been led to believe that it is not a big deal and does not exist as much as it probably does.
ReplyDeleteDomestic abuse occurs in various forms whether sexual, verbal, physical, or emotional. I think the most prevalent type is verbal and emotional closely followed by physical abuse.
I think domestic helpers are victims most of the time and the mother usually uses curse words when dealing with the maid. When the poor lady does not understand what is asked of her and makes a mistake, the lady of the house uses hurtful words toward her rather than being understnading that shes a foreigner working in a foreign country with a foreign language. What starts as verbal abuse then turns into emotional abuse and most often evolves into physical abuse with pulling pushing and shoving.
Fajer 3896
Aljazy Alzamel...
ReplyDeleteI do believe that a families are a major circle that bonds all the happy and safe feelings, bu still families do face obstacles in many ways. Especially dealing with teenagers; teenagers want to experience life and do many things that they are unable to handle, and this is where families mostly face trouble in. Telling their children the right from wrong, and their children disobey them.